what lies behind the mask, no one knows

20060217

DYING INSIDE TO HOLD YOU
I took a shower and I went on my way
I stopped as usual, had a coffee and a pie
When I turned to leave, I couldn't believe my eyes
Standing there I didn't know what to say
Without one touch we stood there face to face

*And I was dying inside to hold you
I couldn't believe what I felt for you
Dying inside, I'm dying inside
But I couldn't bring myself to touch you

You said hello and asked my name
Ididn't know if I should go or remain
Inside I felt my life and really changed
I knew that it would never be the same
Standing there I didn't know what to say
First I looked away when I whispered your name
repeat * twice

One hello changed my life
I didn't believe in love at first sight
But you have shown me what its like
And I know my love
repeat * until fade

im hooked onto this song! thanks to ms tan. she played it before chem prac today. sheesh, now its ringing in my head. haha. then as usual, me and shirin started singing it the whole day through.
and as usual, gp lesson seem to take forever to end. especially so for today cos we growlers were looking to forward to go ea SAKAE! we din eat anything the whole day cos we wanted to "save our stomachs" for the buffet. wah, so auntie right. heh. immediately after gp, we rushed out of class, walked as fast as we could to the mrt station (we were almost dying of hunger!) and took the train to kovan: the hippiest place as stated by qian, cos its for aunties as stated by us. HAHA! we clocked in at 1520 and immediately started taking the first plate off the conveyor belt. wow, i must say we can realli eat ALOT! i ate a total of 11 plates! and our average was 10.2, there was 5 of us, so go calculate how many plates we had in total. hee. we sat there for quite a while, unable to move, feeling like we're gonna burst any moment. gross. but ya satisfactory. haha. our long awaited sushi feast. we clocked out at 1700. wow. hmm too bad eunice, couldn't join us. cos her meeting ended late. hmph, greenclub. and we walked around the hippest auntie mall, before going home. haha.
hmm was talking to my MJ first 3 months classmates from S221! wow, its been a year, and we still talk like it was onli yesterday that we separated to our various schools. we were updating each other about each other's lives, laughing at old and new jokes, and trying to dig out personal info of certain ppl. haha. man, i miss them. its good to be ab;e to talk to them still.
sigh, learning to say thanks for the trials in our lives is never easy, to take it in our stride and leave it all to God without thinking or worrying about it. nope, not easy. but well, its something we all should learn to do. and to overcome such problems, its always essential to go through it with buddies who will stick with you all the way! thanks to all my friends who have stood by me! i hope to be a blessing to you all, for im blessed to be a blessing. =D

-mask uncovered-

20060216

wow. i realised that life as a j2 is indeed exciting and eventful. week after week, day after day, i never fail to bring home exciting stories about life in school. in fact, it has been so eventful that it has drained most of my energy away, and im too lazy to blog about it. heh.
why do things have to turn out so complicated? sigh, life is too complex. too complex for my simple mind.
today during chapel they talked about prayer. yes, prayer is essential. talking to God and being able to have a personal relationship with Him is indeed a privilege. prayer is important. prayer works wonders. prayer is what i need.
Did you ever talked to God above?
Tell Him all about your cares and woes
Every tiny little prayer He knows
God answers prayer.
yay, i finally got to make new specs! its funky and its purple. haha. say bye-bye to my "golden specs". oh sean, you won't be able to award me with the golden specs award anymore. not that i want it lah. heh.
training almost killed me.
sheesh, i have been splurging. on food. hmph.

-mask uncovered-

20060209

THANK YOU, LORD (FOR THE TRIALS)
And I thank You, Lord
For the trials that come my way
In that way I can grow each day
As I let You lead.
And I thank You, Lord
For the patience those trials bring
In that process of growing
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am
To put my human nature down
And let your Spirit take control of all I do
Cos when those trials come
My human nature shouts the thing to do
And God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

But I thank You, Lord
With each trial I undergo
That You're there to help lead and show
The way to go
And You promised, Lord
That with every testing
That Your way of withstanding's
Easier to bear

Yes, I thank You, Lord
For the victory that growing brings
In surrender of everything
Life is so worthwhile.
And I thank You, Lord
That when everything's put in place
Out in front I can see Your face
And it's there You belong.

yes, indeed we thank the Lord for EVERYTHING. for the good that comes our way, and even for he trials that we face everyday in our lives. for we know that He will help lead and show the right way to go. it's hard to thank Him for bad things, but ultimately we know that even bad things can turn out good if we TRUST in the Lord! =D

-mask uncovered-

im exhausted, im aching and i can't move. heh.
yesterday's pe almost killed us all. it was the toughest pe lesson we ever had in ages! really pushed our leg muscles to the limits! today we all came to school with aching muscles. we all went "ooh. ah." before sitting down, needed the support of railings to climb the stairs (our home room is the 4th level!!) and getting off the bus is a feat. sigh, the ah-pehs and ah-mas of S76. heh. to top it off, i had training under the hot blazing sun after school. too much, just too much. i was like a walking corpse.
anw today's gp lesson was one EXCITING ONE. heh. i shall not elaborate. in any case, i almost puked blood, but now im laughing away just thinking about it. hilarious!
OH I BOUGHT NEW BOOTS!!!
red puma one. and i love it! the soles of my old pair came off, hmph.
yeah that's all i want to say.
i shall say no more.

-mask uncovered-

20060204

BAK GUA MAKES YOU SMARTER!!! well, according to ting. and i ate so much bak gua today! do i feel smarter? hmm, i wonder...
today we had a mini cny party. everyone brought something to eat. wah, it was alot of food! haha. ms tan bought us drinks. when ms tan declared for us to start eating, we all chiong-ed for the potato chips! yumm. haha. shane brought one big packet of bak gua, and he kept asking people to eat cos he doesn't want to bring it home. he put it in front of me and and made me eat saying, "it will make you smarter". yeah i hope so man. haha! and knowing me, when food is placed in front of me, i'll succumb to the temptation. man, i feel like a pig! haha. i helped qianling finish her pineapple tarts too. PIG. and i realised that when everyone had stopped eating, i was the onli one left still munching away and a piece of bakgua still im my hand. u tell me whether im a pig anot. heh. after eating, we played zhong ji mi ma. worm lost so she had to eat 5 cookies of her choice. so funny! everyone in the cafe was looking at us, rather amused, and i bet they are envious of our class, cos 05S76 just rocks! hee.
though fridays i onli have chem and gp, it's a rather sian day. partly cos there's 2.5 hr break in between where i start to rot. today i almost rotted to death. i got so bored, i started playing hang-man with worm. heh. TORTILLA CHIPS IN SALSA DIP. sheesh. gp sucks. it was realli a time where i actually started decomposing. i can feel myself disintegrating. bleh. so darn boring and sian lah! FINALLY the clock struck 2.45! time to go home! yay.
wanted to go home and sleep. i went home, and i had a guest: mervyn tan. HAHA! we sat in front of the tv waching mtv and both of us feel asleep lah! haha. it was just a time to slack my life away, while i still can.
sigh, what is going on? what happened to you? why do you have to make things turn out so bad, when it started from nothing at all? i just dun understand. and im not the onli one. guess things start to change, so do people. BUT WHY?!

-mask uncovered-