*behind the mask* mellie loves GOD & YOU!

*my darlings*

.PLC 03/04.


.the growlers.

.sarah c.


*tag here!*


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The thinking of the world has found its way into our language. We describe the beginning of a passionate relationship as "falling in love." Or people say, " We're madly in love with each other." You've more than likely heard people say these things - perhaps youve even said them yourself.
Why do we feel compelled to compare love to a pit or a mental disorder? What do these statements reveal about our attitudes toward love? I think partof the reason we make these somewhat overstated analogies is beacuse they remove personal responsibility. If a person falls into a pit, what can she do about it? If an animal contracts rabies and runs around foaming iat the mouth and biting people, it can't really help its nasty behaviour because it has gone mad.
Doesn't it sound a little absurd to discuss ove in such terms? I think so.

okay i got this from a book entitled "I kissed dating goodbye". rather interesting. haha. haven't been blogging. dun feel like, so here is just something for u all to read and think about. haha.

-mask uncovered-


the best way of forgetting something is to keep yourself occupied. keep yourself busy. and well it's been working for me! yes i've partly forgotten what i want to forget, PLUS more things!
nowadays i keep suffering from STM. my thoughts are easily cut off, i dun think well, and i dun seem to be able to register things efficiently. BIG SIGH! so in short, my brain is not functioning well. im going short circuit soon. ARGH!
time doesn't seem to be a factor anymore. the days are passing without any warning. everyday seems to be the same, nothing special. sigh. why does things have to turn out this way?
im living life like a wanderer. wandering around aimlessly. i need someone/something to push me in the right direction, to head in a way where there is a purpose and a goal. i dunno what im doing anymore, i dunno what's going on anymore. this is bad. realli bad.
lalala im gonna be okay. just need time alone to think. THINK.. i dun like ppl who wallow in self-pity, so i shall not too! hmph. this blog here is just for me to place for me to vent some frustrations and share some joy. so im sorry if you are bored reading my blog all the time. haha.

-mask uncovered-


yes, siti aisyah conned us. she made us, me, nanz, serene and mello, go all the way to the scouts association at 9PM to pack clothes. ALL BECAUSE WE BELIEVED HER WHEN SHE SAID THERE WAS A BIG SHIPMENT COMING IN, AND NEEDS ALOT OF HELP!
we were late, reached at around 9 plus, we found no one in the hall, absolutely no one, not a single soul. well they were having a meeting, so it seems. then siti came up, and said the shipment will come in at 10.30. so we waited, talked in the dark, and got freaked out by some shadow. finally ppl start coming in, but still no talk about the shipment.
then, siti came back with a tray of food, saying that was the so called "shipment"! like OH MY GOODNESS! she made me miss my 9pm show to go all the way there to eat supper! i chased her around the hall. haha!
well okay, thanks for the supper siti, it was great. we had great fun talking. BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE WE FELL FOR IT! WE TRUSTED SITI!!!
haha nah, we're not angry with her. not at all. we love our ah-ma. haha. we're just amused. realli amused. at how gullible we all are (cos onli me and mello are the gullible ones), at how siti was able to pull that trick on us, and at how we reacted to it. it was super funny! haha find one day and we'll re-enact it for you. haha. I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!
my nose is dying. i suspect it's gonna drop out soon. gah.

-mask uncovered-


yay!!! pw is finally over. hmm actually not yet, officially. today was onli OP. but hey, that's a major component, and one that we are prepared like crazy for. haha. and its OVER!
i was realli nervous, that when i talked, i was shivering. oh well, i managed to crap my way through. even for QnA. the question was quite funny. haha. thank goodness i could answer it.
oooh and i got my new phone today! FINALLY! my old phone is realli dying. after being submerged in seafood soup sometime ago, all thanks to constance chong! haha. so now i dun have to press the keypad like mad anymore. hee!
looking forward. 4 more days!

-mask uncovered-


When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those to love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

is it true? will dreams ever come true? is there such thing as a happy ending where the prince in shining armour sweeps the princess off the ground onto his white stallion and gives her love's true kiss, like in fairy tales?
okay, i gotta stop dreaming. haha. influenced too much by mello. hee, no offence mello, in fact i think it's a good thing, in a way.
a knight in shining armour have i none, but what i do know is that i have great pals who stand by me all the time. =D met up with nanz, mello, sam and siti again. (had pw meeting in school before that). we helped out in the scouts association to pack winter clothing for the earthquake victims in pakistan. it was fun and DUSTY! yes, dusty. and mind you, i have a very senstive nose. haha. so imagine how itchy and drippy my nose got. i had to stuff wads of tissue into my nostrils to prevent the dust from going in and the mucus from coming out. heh. nanz, mello and siti were so amused by it, they kept laughing at me, and telling me how retarded i look. HAHA. retarded yeah i know, but hey it helps! i could work without having to worry about my stupid nose. hee. mello wasn't have it well with her nose either. think the next time we go there, we'll need a box of tissue on stand-by. haha.
our job there was to sort out the clothes. large, medium, small, kids or adults, coats or parkas etc. there were quite alot of ppl heling out when i reached the place. it was rather heart-warming to see everyone working together, knowing the urgent need to pack the stuff and transport them over to the people in pakistan, who are suffering from the cold winter season that soon will come. seeing the ginormous amount of clothes there was made me realise how fortunate we are. seriously. i know it sounds very cliche from the drama serials and all, but i realli did feel that way. i was like, "wow, i am so blesssed by God to be Singapore." i dun usually get the opportunity to do this kinda volunteer work, so it was realli great to help out. its makes me feel happy knowing that im helping the people this way. i dunno, but i dun feel the same kind of satisfaction when donating money to the needy. i prefer to help in deed rather than just giving money. i should consider being a social worker. haha. serious.
when our nose couldn't take it anymore, we decided to have dinner at kfc. just like the good old times again. laughing at the silly things we did in the past, complaining about things in the present, and just enjoy each other's company. although we have changed some way or another and are in different schools and do not meet up very often, whenever we come together, we are the same crazy bunch that we were back in secondary school. friends like them, i would not exchange for silver or gold, any precious stone or even the world. i dunno what will life be without them?!
relishing the past. what about the present? and the future? i dunno what to do with myself anymore. nothing seems to fit.
leave me to rot away. maybe it's better this way. rot away. hah. i dun rmb being so sunk into dpression last time. WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO ME?!
someone just shoot me.

-mask uncovered-


do you believe in coincidences? actually i don't. i believe in God's will. but today, i chanced upon a couple of coincidences. come on, like how many coincidences can one have in one day? two is more than enough. perhaps it's just me, or it's the day, i dunno. but what can coincidences tell? NOTHING, but just keeping you in suspense. argh.
okay, anw today i almost got killed during training! when coach said we will be running less rounds we were all so happy. BUT when he added the BUT, our smiles faded. cos the BUT was: less rounds, more intensive. and intensive it was!!! we SPRINTED 6 rounds! seriously i think it was worse than the 10 rounds we have been running. sigh, oh well all in the name of fitness, we need all these running. and i must say, i feel a sense of satisfaction. haha.
after training, i met nanz at dhoby ghaut and we had lunch at pasta mania. it was her birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRL! i gave her a birthday treat. hee. then we walked around and then made our way to st.marg's.
yes, my darling guides, i went back to take their testworks. they so cute lah. keep laughing at me. haha had a short chat with some of them, told them about jc life etc etc. sighh being back in st.marg's is like going back home. and there's no place like home. haha. oh and there's my frens too! mello! well nanz, sam and serene i see them in SA, so not so exciting. but with all of us together, that's what makes things exciting! hee.
hmm then i went to j8 with serene to grab a mrs field's brownie. she tempted me into it! yummalicious! haha! fattening too. argh who cares.
i had to cross the overhead bridge to the bus top to take a bus home. my goodness, my legs almost broke. haha. anw, i met wilfred at the bus stop. he was going home from pw meeting at eunice's house. i was kinda shocked to see him there. haha. yeah so took the bus home together.
im tired. tired physically, mentally and emotionally.

-mask uncovered-


look at the pic!!! it's s76 at pasir ris park, at erm 1am in the morning? haha and im at the top!!! whee...
we stayed at the holiday BUNGALOW. it was super big! and super cosy. class chalet. reason why i haven't been blogging. still recuperating from the lack of sleep. haha. it was such a memorable experience, i just gotta share it with u all!
DAY 1 (saturday 5th nov): we all gathered at the bungalow at around 4 plus on saturday afternoon. shirin and some others went shopping for food and the daily necessities. while the rest of us slacked around the house. of cos the guys started kicking the soccer ball around the front yard and the girls watched little mermaid 2 the movie. hee. once the shoppers were back, it was time to start the fire! me and leanne attempted to start the fire, and i must say we were quite successful. hee. then the food started coming and we starting cooking! me and weifen were the cooks for the night. haha. so fun!!! but the price to pay is having smoky smell and eating very little. haha. the fire died at around 11 plus, and we have finished cooking ALL the food, so we started clearing up.
after cleaning up, we had our baths. phew, it was great to be rid of the smoky smell. haha. then we had a night walk in pasir ris park. we played on this revolving dish, we turned and turned and turned, so much i almost puked. and we screamed and screamed and screamed, it's a wonder no one
came to complain. haha. we played until andy hurt his toe and it started bleeding that we decided to go back to the house.
we sat around the living room eating junk food and watching tv, and some were playing majong. slowly one by one we dozed off. i was awoken at 5 plus when the hockey guys had to leave for their tournament. me, weifen and BK then went to the beach to watch the sunrise, or rather watch the sky light up. haha. we were indulging in the view when it started raining. sadly we made our way back. and we slept somemore.
DAY 2 (sunday 6th nov): all of us starting waking up at 9 plus. made breakfast. then slacked around the house again. watched movies and played majong. i learnt how to play majong. erh, i sck at it, and i dun realli like it. wonder how they all can sit there the whole night playing. haha. me and gillian went walking by beach. oooh and i found a pearl!!! a real one! or at least i think it is. hee. we went back in time to see andy cooking lunch. HAHA!! he cooked lunch for all of us, with the help of tzekwang and luling. haha. so shiok lah. we had a super late lunch. the hockey guys came back and the easterners too, with x-box. so the guys were all stuck to the screen. haha. after that, we rented bikes. overnight rental!
we biked the whole night through. we cycled to downtown east for dinner (at 11 pm!) the cycled back. haha me and leanne fell off our bikes on top of each other! as a consequence of riding behind the guys who were speeding. haha. it was painful then, but thinking back it was a rather hilarious sight. haha! we went to play in the park again. and we climbed the spider web! as seen in the pic. this time we played until wil had leg cramps then we went back to the house. resting for a while, me, gil, michelle, weifen, charles and andy decided to go to the beach. we cycled there and sat by the breakwaters. we talked under the clouds, no stars =( the wind was rather chilling. BK joined us. we sat there until 3 plus. we went back to the house for our nice warm bath. haha. gil and leanne fell asleep after bath, while i went to look for food. i watched the guys played x-box until andy said the stars were out. and OH MY GOODNESS! the stars were beautiful!!! mesmerising! we lay under the stars until i started to doze off then i went down to sleep on the sofa.
DAY 3 (monday 7th nov): i was awoken by shirin who told me that we had an hr to pack the whole house before the person come to collect the keys. we frantically went around waking everyone else up. man, the guys were the hardest to wake. they couldn't hear us calling them, and refused to budge we when pulled them, we started whcking them with pillows. it worked. hee. so we all started washing up ad cleaning up the whole house. finally, the end of the chalet. hmm but not quite. just before the person came, we cut the birthday cake for the september, october, november and december babies of our class. haha. then we realli had to leave. byebye to the house where we had so much fun in.
we cycled the bikes back to near the kiosk. the shop wasn't opened yet, so we left our barang there and cycled somemore. the hockey guys left
for training (poor them!). we cylced until the shop opened and we returned the bikes. oh no, then it was realli time to leave pasir ris!!!
we took a bus to white sands for breakfast at macs. the looks on our faces showed nothing but exhuastion. and yet, we all knew we had fun.
me, weifen, leanne and elsa took bus 53 to go home. we totally knocked out on the bus. thankfully weifen woke me up, if not i would have missed my stop. haha. then i was home sweet home. i slept the whole day! like a log.
thanks to shirin for booking the bungalow and for planning it. thanks to the guys for taking care of us during the night cycling and for doing all the labourous jobs. thanks to the rest for adding to the joy and fun during the chalet. thanks to 05S76 for being the best class there ever was! i love you guys!!!
for more pics, check it out at --> http://s76classchalet.mypicgallery.com/

-mask uncovered-


phew! training was tough today!!! hmm maybe not that tough but just that we haven't had such intensive trainings for a long time. UNTIL the new coach came along. haha. well we didn't die, so i guess it's okay. and there is more to come! haha.
someone please remind never to be so kaypo in the future. i should just mind my own business. then i wouldn't bring unnecessary trouble upon myself. argh. but then again, it can be the other people who are making it hard for me. well it's okay, i can then cultivate forbearance and longsuffering.
recently i've been up late dunno doing what. doing everythin but just not sleep. sighh. tsk tsk, bad for health. heh.
now i dunno whether to feel happy or feel sad. what's wrong with me?!

-mask uncovered-


ooohhh look at the yummy cakes!!! haha. me, amy, con and cherie were at mallory's house learning how to bake oreo cheese cake and marble butter cake. hee. yes, for someone like me who is not at all domestic, i find it rather exciting to learn how to bake. HAHA!

the best was eating the cakes. yum yum! wonderfully delicious! of cos since it was made with love by us! HEE. and credit goes to mrs choo and mallory who taught us how to bake.
ANW, i think after venting my frustrations on yesterday's entry, most of my steam has been released. haha. so yepp, im feeling much better now. like i said, i shall not be unfair to my frens who have stood by me and encouraging me all the time. THANKS GUYS!!! i shall not be depressed anymore. i shall live life to the fullest. erh, sounds abit drama. heh. =P

-mask uncovered-


im realli beginning to doubt the purpose of my existence. what do ppl take me for? be all goody to me when you are feeling alright and chuck me aside when you have no need for me and dun wish me to be around?!
or am i just the loser that ppl "jokes" about? like hello, i have feelings too you know!
okay, maybe i gotta snap back into reality. that's how life is. that's how things are. the sad reality.
i realised that im always stuck into sticky situations, being in the middle where i shouldn't be. yes i know im not the only one who gets into this kinda nonsense. but i just feel lost, so lost. i dunno where to go from here, i dunno what to do with what's laid before me and worse still, i dunno what to feel from what is happening!
and im afraid. afraid of what lies ahead. so many WHAT IFs. my mind is swirling with questions, questions that cannot be answered. problems and more problems.
CERTAIN people are making things worse. while some are so sweet to comfort me. im thankful for my frens around me, those always cheering me up, lending me a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. yes, i must not be unfair to them. i must be STRONG.
argh. *punches pillow*
im sorry if this doesn't makes sense to you. i dun care. im just letting out all my frustrations. this is on the world wide web, so i can't reveal much. so there! hmph.

-mask uncovered-


yipee! i downloaded more pics! here are just some that was taken with my cam. to look at more, check it out at: http://s76evenmorepics.mypicgallery.com/
hee. i think with the even more outings we gonna have, we can have a whole photo album of S76 photos! haha.
argh. tmr have to go to school for op dry run 2. and soccer training. blehz. i wanna sleep!!!!

-mask uncovered-